Artist Statement

Art has always been a way for me to understand concepts I have been grappling with. As a child, I have never really been a sharer due to the influence of attending Catholic school from kindergarten to 6 grade. To be clear, I don’t believe this was the intention of the Nuns and Priests at my grade school. However, the idea of relying on God and the belief in not apostatizing profoundly shaped the way I handled my emotions and even ideas.

In grade school, I took these two concepts as directions to take information, think about it, and ask God for help with things I have been thinking about. This constant way of thinking made me much more cerebral and private as a young child. As I matured and went through puberty, dealing with adolescence, trying to figure out who I was, dealing with repetitive nightmares, and constantly looking for answers to big life questions, left me drawn to Art and utilizing these different mediums to help figure out what I believed and who I was. As I grew into adulthood and attended conventional art school or classes, I made less art based on pure emotions and more on skill level growth, tied to my personal emotional growth while still trying to balance the odd experiences I was dealing with. For example, in my light, color, and theory class, one of our assignments was to copy an artist we admired. I, of course, chose Henry Matisse, and I loved his nude paintings of women and his handle of color. Eventually, you will see paintings I did in the same class with women of my skin complexion and a heavy Matisse influence. A lot of this is my instinct to try and connect with my artwork, therefore setting a standard that my art needs to speak to me emotionally and technically. However, even though this was the goal for my Art, it didn’t change the fact that, at this time, my dreams escalated to being in a spiritual state. When I would make Artwork alone in the dorm, my dreams seemed to spew out into a trance while I was drawing or painting.

My 41-year-old self has realized that control is my worst enemy and acceptance is my best friend. After art school, I took a long break from making Art, thinking it would help me control what was happening. I got to the point where I believed that if I didn’t do Art, all of it would stop. Yet, in practice, it hasn’t stopped and has become more crippling in some senses. At this time in my life, I have decided that making art is something I need to do to give myself balance. It is an outlet that is therapeutic and allows me to let go of a lot of things I have been dealing with internally.

I hope letting go of my older pieces will help pave the way for new artwork. This website is organized from my younger years to my later years. Thank you for taking the time to look over my work.